A Quest

understanding reconstructions in life

2006: Today is a Great Day

January 16

Today, I feel stressed. The pressure is pushing me from all sides. I was being pressured by the Ikot Bayan in our Sector. Pressured by the thesis. Pressured by my academics. Pressured by the need to spend more time with my family.

Okay. Let me explain why I’m being pressured by these things stress me out. First is the Ikot Bayan. I’m handling the Marketing Committee of the sector, as well as the Ikot Bayan Party. Well, I have partners in these things but the time it requires of me stress me out. The nights I spent like an owl, they really made my body clock irregular!

Second, our thesis. I must admit, i haven’t done so many things about it. It was the least of my priorities because there are other things to attend to. I am really ashamed because i wasn’t able to contribute much. We are still working on it, and believe me, its already past the deadline! None of the groups finished theirs, because all of us crammed.

Third, my academics. I really, really, really want to do my best this semester. But I find it hard to focus on my academics with all these other responsibilities requiring my attention. This day in my Psych 101 class, I cannot focus on what my professor was saying. I have been buried with pages to read! Even if we have discussed them all, I feel the need to read them in my book to fully understand them. I found no time to read these pages because I’d rather catch up on my sleep than get sick because of the lack of it. I also felt something negative lurking inside my chest. I felt weak, and I am afraid. Funny that I should feel afraid when our bushfire for that morning was Isaiah 41:10, a verse about God saying that we should not be afraid because He is always there. I really feel the pressure because I need to be excellent in my studies, as I was during high school. Besides, one of the core values is being excellent in both studies and service.

Last but no the least, I really felt the need to spend more quality time with my family. For the past few months, if I wasn’t at school, I was in a YFC activity. I know my mom missed me so much, and I do too. Not only that, I have to go visit my grandparents and my dad in Pateros. Sasabihin na naman nila, nakalimutan ko na sila. As a YFC leader, I should not neglect my family. Quality time with them is very important.

So, everything was floating inside me. I don’t know what to do. Maybe, I thought, the problem was prioritizing and proper time management. I tend to do so many things that my body couldn’t handle.
After my Psych101 class, I have to purchase a xerox copy of a reading we would use next meeting. It costs Php10.00. Yeah, that’s no big money. But today, I have no allowance because of some circumstances. My money in my pocket would just be enough for my fare home. Wow.

But you know, I consider the reading a blessing. Why? Because of a simple page accidentally included in the reading. It was a scratch paper, but it has more value than any of them! I was affirmed. It was the front page of chapter 10 in some book. It says:

HOW BIG IS YOUR GOD?

Wow. I was speechless. Then there was a quotation from Blaise Pascal. He said, “Lord, help me to do great things as though they were little, since I do them with your power; and little things as though they were great, since i do them in your name.” Whew! Well said. And I really felt it in my heart. If I wasn’t on my way to my next class, my tears would be flowing continuously.

Then, it posed a question at the end of the page, “How big is Christ in your life?”

I was just reminded that indeed, what is important is we do each task offering it to the one who created all of us. Even little things, it would become great because God worked, not us mere human beings. I realized these things that were pressuring me were little things compared to what pressured Jesus. All things would be great in God’s power and will. It is also important that Christ flows in every nerve in our body. If not, we would really be super stressed out and we would always forget the reason why we are doing all these things. If Christ flows in every vein of my body, i would never really have to worry because He will sustain my body with Oxygen, and he will take away all the carbon dioxide released by my several organs. He should always be bigger than us.

And today is a Great day.

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