A Quest

understanding reconstructions in life

2008: Jeremiah 17:10

“I, Yahweh, search the heart and penetrate the mind.” Jeremiah 17:10

For the longest time, there are times that I do not know what to say to God, in my prayers. Oftentimes, I would tell Him that He knows very well what’s inside my heart and that He just look into it, search it, for I cannot articulate everything that’s boiling inside.

The first time I read (or the first time I was struck) the first part of Jeremiah 17:10, I was affirmed that God knows our hearts more than we do. He searches our heart, knows everything inside it–both the good and the bad that it may contain. He also penetrates the mind, therefore, He knows what we are thinking. my first disposition about this was being a child afraid of her parents knowing what she did, of what she wants, what she desires, what she thinks. All of these was because she was afraid of scolding, afraid of being yelled at, that what she wanted was impossible to achieve, that she was so wrong in doing those things, her wants, desires, and thoughts are inappropriate.

I did thought of those things because it reflected the child me, who would rather keep quiet because she didn’t want to be laughed at, to be mocked, to be rejected. Only after sometime did I realize the loving side of this remark. I later realized that it was a statement of security. God said He searches my heart, for all things! He looks for my deepest desires that I cannot articulate. He looks for my love for Him, my love for my neighbors. At the same time, He penetrates my mind. To penetrate is to enter or pass through something. It also means to see into something, and to decipher meaning. Jesus, penetrating my mind, therefore means to enter and see into my mind–not to look for faulty thoughts, but to decipher what my thoughts mean. Or rather, may it be the other way around, that as He penetrates my mind, He gives meaning to my thoughts, wants and desires. He infiltrates my thoughts and leaves space for me to point these things to Him.

He does all these, I believe, because of His everlasting love for us, His sons and daughters, so that we’ll grow into that “perfect” child He wanted us to be.

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